In our last blog post, we all came to know about how the male mindset works and how men respond to situations in relationships. What they generally want from the women they are in love with, and what they actually get. How they end up disappointing women in their lives and in the long run, even end up in the loop of resentment.
What You’ll Get
This post is a must-read for all sorts of people who have failed relationships with women or who want to have a truly fulfilling relationship in the future. This is for people who have gone through a lot and want to improvise their interaction, understanding, and trust with women.
In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship, let’s try to deeply understand women by exploring them.
What Women Really Are?
Many people in today’s era still believe that women have achieved nothing or they are not capable of doing anything except household chores. They only belong to only one place i.e. home and have only one task i.e. to look after the child or family.
Many men undervalue women by saying that men have achieved far more success. They have built great nations, big and tall structures, companies like Google and Microsoft, etc. and women have achieved very little or even nothing.
Even after going through so much criticism, the most hurtful for them to hear is, that women are overly emotional.
Women are often misunderstood or taken for granted. But the reality is different.
Women are Emotional Species
In my last post “Inside the mind of a man when it comes to relationships”. We came to know that men are task-solution oriented species. Successful completion of a task is very important for a man as it is connected with his sense of self-worth.
But women are different.
Women value love, relationships, communication rather than focussing on winning or successful completion of the task. Women support, nurture, care and believe in helping others. To her, expressing her feelings with the person she trusts is very important. To her, building great buildings, nations and economies is of little or no importance.
Lunch meetings for men are an excuse to discuss work and achievements but for women, it is an excuse to develop intimacy, nurture a relationship, be of help or service to each other, etc. Their discussions are quite intimate and open unlike men’s.
Communication, Spirituality, Personal Growth, healing, etc. is of primary importance to a woman.
As men are task-solution oriented, women are feelings or relationship-oriented.
A woman’s sense of self-worth is basically justified by her feelings. And for a man, successful completion of the task justifies his sense of self-worth.
Problems With Men when their relationship is considered with Women
Let’s take a hypothetical situation.
Suppose you are a husband and have a wife who is a homemaker. You come home after work. Your wife comes up to you and after you settle down, she starts telling you about how awful her day was. How her friend got divorced, her sister is in the hospital, she failed to do some important chores which had to be done by the day’s end, etc.
In reply to her statements and as a man who is a task-solution oriented species you start to give her solutions to her problems.
You say, “Your friend will handle it anyway, it’s a part of life”.
You say, “You worry too much about your sister, she will turn out to be ok, there’s no need to worry”.
And after saying these things you find your wife agitated and hopeless, she might even be in a mood for crying. You find her being withdrawn away from you and have no idea what you did wrong.
What You Did Wrong?
After several hours of research, you have no idea what you did wrong.
Don’t worry, I’ll help you out.
As I mentioned earlier that women are relationship and communication-oriented species. Fulfilling relationships and having deep conversations is what they desire.
When she was telling you about how awful her day was, she was not looking for solutions. She was looking for someone who would listen to her and comfort her. What she wanted was that you’d listened to her without judgment or interruption. She was not searching for solutions, she was looking for someone to communicate and express her feelings to and that too without being judged.
You might feel that by providing solutions, you were helping her, but you were doing the exact opposite. As a man, by not communicating properly to her, you were taking her sense of self-worth away. You made her feel neglected and behaved as you had no interest in her life. She felt ignored and isolated.
Whenever any woman in your life is telling you about her life or day, she basically needs only 2 things, and it’s your time and attention. She is not looking for suggestions or help. She wants you to communicate with her, listen to her without judgment and let her express her feelings.
To them, communication and relationships are important things in life.
In the above scenario, instead of saying, “Your friend will handle it anyway, it’s a part of life” for her divorced friend or telling her that she worries too much about her sister who’s admitted to the hospital. You should say, “Things will take time and everything will fall back into place. BTW I love the way you care about people in your life. Come on, let me give you a hug.”
She will feel much better and elated.
What Did You Learn?
- Women are Communication and relationship-oriented species.
- A woman’s sense of self-worth is measured by the quality of her relationships.
- They are sensitive to deep conversations.
- They value everything that is a part of personal growth, spiritual growth and things that can nurture life.
When someone might try to degrade you by saying that “men have built great nations, companies, etc.” And what women have achieved is nothing.
Just reply politely that “Women have given birth to men who have built great nations, economies, companies, etc. And thank me later.
I hope you all liked the post.
Feel free to share this piece of knowledge with your male friends as well.
For Information on Men’s mindset on a relationship, follow this link:
NEXT UPDATE: “What Men Want and What Women Think Men Want” will be uploaded next week.
Till then, Have a nice time!!!
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